I always use to hang on to things forever. Pieces of paper, old school books, old clothes that I couldn’t even fit into any more. Everything had sentimental value. I think I attributed to “hanging on” from losing so much growing up.
I grew up with an alcoholic father in a very unstable environment. We moved around a lot. I would hang on to memories, friendships, places and things in order to provide some sense of “normal” as my father sank into his depression.
Over the years, I would get incredibly upset if I lost anything. I would obsess for days, cry and be distraught. Every little thing I lost was somehow attributed to the “big” losses in my life.
I’ve had to work through lots of pain and fear to understand why it was so hard for me to let go of the past. I literally clung to my past for dear life. Although, some of my siblings would state that I was stuck in the past for a few years, I truly believe that I needed to do that in order to heal.
As I began to understand why I hold on to memories and “things” of the past, it became easier to eventually “let go.” I was trying to make things right. Somehow, I was trying to achieve some sort of “normal” in my mind.
It seems when things weren’t going right in my life, I would dig into my database of painful memories and bring them to the surface again in order to beat myself up.
As I worked through the painful memories of my childhood, I began to trust my higher power and I learned to let go. Little by little, I began to open up my world and see the possibilities that lay before me. I realized that I was holding myself back by clinging to “old stuff” that no longer benefited me in my life.
It wasn’t easy, and yet it took years for me to understand this process, but I learned my lesson well. I now look forward to “releasing” old things in my life in order to create a “vacuum” of new opportunities and positive experiences. I now realize that hanging on to old furniture, clothing, bad memories, and bad relationships was a way of keeping me stuck, and not moving forward.
I’d had to work on my faith in order for me to see that I do have a positive, limitless future. For years, I couldn’t see it. It was like I was in a box, but I couldn’t get out. I’m not only scratching my way out of the box, I’m tearing it down, stacking up the cardboard and bringing it to the recycling bin!
Just last week, I had a huge “release” of my past life. I had furniture, clothing, and home accessories in storage for almost two years. I sold my house in order to start a new life. I thought somehow, I could incorporate all of this “stuff” into my new life, but found out that I had grown so much, that it wasn’t me anymore. So for two years, I paid more in storage than what the furniture, clothing, books, etc. was worth!
I decided enough was enough, and scheduled a big garage sale. I rented a U-Haul truck and hired two workers to help me move the stuff to my parent’s house for a one day only garage sale. I put ads in the paper and Online and even helped my family clean out of the garage.
It was a huge relief to “let go” of these things. I thoroughly enjoyed selling everything. Only one item – a beautiful designer couch – brought a tear to my eye to sell it. The neatest thing was that people came and bought the furniture easily, without haggling. They were great to talk with, and we moved almost everything.
We did make a lot of money, and I ended up giving the couch to my parents, so I’ll see it all the time! It literally worked out perfect. I brought the keys back to the storage shed, and I cut my expenses in half.
I can’t even begin to explain the feeling of “relief” inside myself. It’s like I’m walking around so much lighter! I’ve opened up a whole new area in my life that I’m waiting to fill with positive, exciting opportunities.
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